"Two Adventists, two Mormons, and a Jehovah’s witness, sitting at the same table."

Yikes stripes! Sorry fam, it's late, and I don't got alotta time!! I'm afraid this one's gonna hafta be a shorty. And, to be completely honest, I think previously I told you about the total lack of public restrooms here in Peru, and, to be blunt, I am about to explode my pants, so.... I'm gonna make this one as quick as possible. Hahaha.

Still preparing some people for some baptizing. Silvia is scheduled to get baptized this Saturday morning. Bersabé probably will not get baptized this week, but probably someday... And Edwin is getting baptized on July 27th! Too bad transfers are the 24th! I hope I stay so bad!!!

On Tuesday, Hermana Rosa's husband Victor came home after being away from his family for over a year!! He was working in Bagdhad. Elder V and I totez knew he was coming, but none of his kids knew, so they all received a pretty awesomeradical surprise! He's way kewl and its good to have him around. This Sunday, his first Sunday with his family in a ridiculously long amount of time, he was called and sustained as the second counselor in the branch presidency. Haha. So fast! He's gonna help the branch so much. He's a RM too who served in the Trujillo mish. Oh yeah, also yesterday at church, by accident the entire congregation sustained President Risso as president of the Piura, Peru mission. Lololol. So did I. I didn't know what to do so I just went with it. Whatever. He's president of something, right?

Holy for serious I am severely suffering right now from lack of bathroom. Gaaaahhhhhh!!! I can't even tell you the amount of suffering I've gone through here for bathroom emergencies. So many close calls. Too many to count. And normally it gets to the point where I'm just in horrible pain using all the energy I have in me to try to keep calm, sometimes to the point of feeling really sick and wanting to throw up. The worst!! And it happens sooo frequently. Haha. Ugh.

Anyways... Sounds like the Olympic trials are happening... or were happening. I dunno. No fair! Hopefully they do them in Eugene again the next time around. I remember last time it was pretty cool. And it also sounds like out of nowhere my big little sister (as opposed to my little little sister) just somehow got way cooler! Practicing the guitar, replacing strings, and most of all... having a Star Wars party?!?!?! What?!!! Not fair. But awesome! Keep up the good work, following in my footsteps. I advise you to always follow after me, the best example of all time.

You guys had a Hemsley fam reunion in Utah this year?? Mamma told me all of your planned vacations for the summer. Is there no Paul fam reunion this year? Or are you gonna start having the Park City trips in Winter again instead of Summer? I approve of that idea, regardless of the fact that it's during school and it would be way harder to do. Park City is more fun in Winter. Speaking of Pauls, word on the street is that Elder Paul is gonna get dead tomorrow! I don't actually know if that's true, but I thought I read a while back that his last day in the mish is July 17th. No way. So weird!! So I only have a few precious hours left before I become the only member on either side of my family who is a missionary. I'm gonna need some support! From both sides! But I'll do what I can to rep the fam well out here. I'll try to work extra hard so that the blessings reach out to all of my 40+ cousins, muchos uncles and aunts, and grandparents too.

Sounds like I got you guys good with my comment about reconsidering what I want to do with my life, and deciding to become a trucker. Hehehehe. Seriously, trucker hats are the best! You may have noticed in some of my photos that about a month or two ago I caved in a bought me a nice new trucker hat for p-days. I just couldn't last two whole years without one. Its no Zelda or Metroid or Pokémon hat, but it'll do for now.

Okay I seriously can't handle this anymore. I'm gonna have to cut this one short. Sorry! This is an extreme emergency! And I'm in Lambayeque and I'm staying the night, and I don't have an extra pair of pants, so I can't really afford to sacrifice this pair. Hahaha. Among other events of the week that I wish I had more endurance to tell you about, there was this one epic visit where we were visiting this Adventist family, and then halfway through the lesson a Jehovah’s Witness knocked on the door and they let him in too. Two Adventists, two Mormons, and a Jehovah’s witness, sitting at the same table. Then, in what I'm fairly sure is the first time this has ever occurred in the history of ever, the Jehovah’s Witness was totally backing everything we said and supporting all of our points and way helping us out!! Hahaha. Of course, we were trying to get the point across of why we keep Sunday as the Sabbath, and the JW was trying to get the point across of why we shouldn't have a Sabbath day, but still, he was pretty much backing us up all the way. Lolz. Also, something I've become very tired of this week, is one of the most common things that happens when we go tracting. We knock a door, someone answers, we talk a little, they tell us that they're busy, but that we can come back another day. Okay, cool, let's set an appointment! So we ask them what day we can come back, and seriously like 75% of the time they reply "uhh... well, the thing is... I don't actually live here..." ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY DID YOU TELL US TO COME BACK THEN. Okay for reals I gotta go. In more than one sense. I will gladly accept my prize for world's worst e-mail writer of the week. 

Elder Hemsley