"Wasn't General Conference awesome??...I mean, was it? I wouldn't know."

Whoa hey there!

Still surviving in Peru. Wasn't General Conference awesome??... I mean, was it? I wouldn't know. We didn't get to watch Conference here. For realz, I didn't see it. There was no way for us to get the live feed out here. Laaame. I wasn't too thrilled about seeing it in Spanish though anyway. I'd like the Conference edition of the Ensign in English when that comes out please. Thank you so much. <3

Olmos continues to be more busy and a more rewarding experience than Pako was. Every day is filled with appointments. We always have plenty of people to go visit, and that is a heck of a lot more fun than tracting for hours and hours finding nobody. Anywayz, the work here is going good. Well... I guess in terms of visits it's going good. The problem is that hardly anyone we're visiting can progress because everyone in the world is living together unmarried.

Anyway, as far as awkward missionary experiences go, teaching the Law of Chastity to an 18 year old who is pregnant and a 19 year old who is nursing her one year old right in front of us ranks pretty high up there on the list. Both are members of the church too. Though inactive. All the youth here have all fallen in chastity problems. And basically all of the young women are moms. Great. Being a kid you look at moms, and they're old people (haha, sorry moms). They're adults. They're all grown up, and they're way bigger and older and smarter than you are. Well now here I am and I'm all the sudden older than all the moms. What happened? I'm still a kid. I seriously feel like I should still be in high school. It's sad to see. I'm just so happy I grew up with this system of values and beliefs. I always knew it was a blessing before, but now that I've been thrown out into the world and see all the absolutely horrible things that come from breaking the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity up close it's really horrifying stuff and I'm just so glad that because of my faith I've never even been tempted to fall into something like that. Ugh, the other night we were walking back to our room, saw a way drunk guy sitting on the curb, and as we walked by we saw him get up, walk into his house, and start yelling at and hitting his wife. I never really realized the full extent of the blessings and protection I've received from keeping these commandments.

I've been living in constant itchiness because of the bajillions of bug bites I'm getting. I will probably acquire all kinds of exotic diseases during my stay here, and will probably die like 30 times. Not the funnest. But I've started spraying my ankles and knees with repellant, because that seems to always be where its the worst. Especially my ankles. Ouch.

Well my penchant here is pretty awesome. We go to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day with a way cool family. The mom is named Rosa, and she lives at home with her four kids, who are all great. Her husband is in Iraq working. I talked to him for like two seconds via Skype. I like him, because his name is Victor. My name is... Elder Hemsley. So our names are pretty similar. The name Victor is by far one of the most common names I've heard in Peru. Probably second only to Juan, which is the name of basically every other man. But anyway the fam is way awesome and I can already tell I'm gonna miss them a whole lot whenever I leave here. Got lucky! Food's pretty good too. Honestly what I really don't like here are the drinks. I don't really like any of the drinks we get here (not only in Olmos, in every part of Peru including the MTC). Most I can handle, but some are just so... gross. Sometimes I barely drink anything at meals and then go back to our room and down tons of water through my dumb filtered water bottle. Or I buy soda. A personal favorite choice of mine. But I don't like spending money because we don't have too much of that stuff.

Elder Lobato is pretty way rad! We get along really well. We laugh and joke around so much. Way more than with my past companions. We're always laughing about something. His sense of humor is similar to mine, only translated into español, so that's a lot of fun. We're also having a good time using my Dog Dazer you sent me to annoy the heck out of every single dog (and every other animal we see) in Olmos. I am convinced that one day these animals are all going to figure out what's happening and they're all going to gang up on us and kill us one day. But until then, the annoying shall continue! That thing has saved us from a few angry dogs too. Although some of them were angry because we dazed them. Haha.

Olmos actually has branch missionaries called which is pretty cool because Pacasmayo had nothing like that. And they're calling more soon. Way super, man! Word. This branch has its share of problems, but at least we have a little more support than before. At least this branch has its meetings, even if they're the worst thing in the world to attend (went to branch council yesterday, just a bunch of arguing for two hours with no progress being made). I am enjoying it. Though Elder Lobato says this is the worst branch he's ever served in. Haha.

Well, I gotta go right about now. I do miss you guys, and I miss my dog (first person to even think an "I Miss My Horse" joke will be killed upon my arrival in Eugene in 1.5 years). Speaking of I Miss My Horse jokes (is it okay to reference things that were in parenthesis outside of parenthesis?) I really really a whole heck of a lot miss being up on stage having you guys sing my songs back to me. I don't remember how to play guitar or how to sing, but I plan to learn promptly upon my return. I thought a lot (too much) about how much I miss making and playing music with my best friends and I can't wait to get back and do that again. Well... I can wait. I just wish I could be doing this and that at the same time.

Okay, bye to the max! Thanks for being cool. All that matters is being cool. Remember that, and you will make it far in life!

-Elder Victor "Gives the Worst Advice Ever" Hemsley